At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
