you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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