Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize