____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
