wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
