You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
