Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize