WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
