am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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