went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
