I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
