ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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