He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
