i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
