Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
