I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize