It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
