I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
