He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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