I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
