I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize