Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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