I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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