This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
