$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The power of my boobs compel you
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
