I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My vagina just clenched in fear
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
