ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
