i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Everclear isn't food dammit
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize