I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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