Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Come on in and take your pants off
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