awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I need mimosas to revive my soul
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
