I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
