just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
