i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
