I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
