i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
