You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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