How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
