if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dear god my vagina.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
