we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
