Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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