you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
