That's intense
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
