he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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