think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
