you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Vodka?
Forever.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
