he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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