He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
