Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
