Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
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