Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
