Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
No I am not eating basil off your cock
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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