I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
