Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
