I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize