Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
