IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
