There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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