was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
