That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
