Screwed.edu
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
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