I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
