Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize