clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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