me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
