whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
