I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
