the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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