Your face is a jimmy john
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
