Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize