hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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