I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
