He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
