used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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