I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
