what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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